reborn

Today, I had the worst headache ever. It hurts so much that I throw up. 

I would like to have a new life to a new place. Singapore? Thailand? There I can forget everything, nobody knows me. I’ll have an apartment. I’m gonna live by myself. I’ll cook on my own. I’m gonna live. Before, I was afraid, but now I feel I can do it. Nobody wants me here, and someone would have a happy face on her face that I’m finally gone and far away.

I want to be resurrected. I want to feel alive again. 

I want to feel the speed… I want to drive cars in full speed.

I want to feel the danger…

Now, I’m not afraid of heights… I’m not afraid to fall…

I want to die… and reborn.

I hate in here, no one is waiting for me here, no one will save me.

Mga Pangaral ni Bob Ong tungkol sa PAG-IBIG part 2

1. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”

2. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”

- no comment. there are a lot of things I still can’t understand but hopefully, sana wag na lang.

3. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”

-Madami lang siyang load at wala siyang magawa. wag magpadala sa sweet gestures.maraming nagkakamali dahil dyan

4. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”

-malay mo, Immortal siya.

5. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”

6. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya.”

-hehehe.pwede namang ako bida sa sarili kong script

7. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”

8. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”

9. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

10. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
11. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka..”

-paano yan.bulag ako. ^^ iinom ako ng OPTEIN

shame on me..

This is to put myself into further shame.. I won’t give anyone a chance to humiliate me.

I’m sorry if I am a per minute “texter”.  Sorry, I didn’t notice.  I’m not used to be like  this but thanks to you, I learned how to be like one. Now, you’re giving me hell because I’m a per minute “texter”. You changed everything in me, and expected me to change in an instant.

Sorry for being a distraction now that you already had a career. Sorry for distracting you whenever your busy or doing something important.

I’m sorry I cried out of humiliation and would like to die out of it.

You don’t need to try to say it in nice words but the context of it was to make me realize that I’m wrong… to feel humiliated.

You humiliated me… down to my very core…

feel for me

Sometimes, it’s very tiring to understand someone. You need all the patience you have left, and I don’t have enough patience for one person. My head wants to explode and my chest would like to scream. I feel sleepy and I can’t work for the whole day.

I wish that someone would also feel what I feel so she/he may understand. Wishing that she/he may not do it again..yet again, here we go again…

Whenever we start arguing, all I just want to do is close my eyes and be silent. The only thing that I could hear is the fast beat of my heart finally slowing down.

How long would it take that someone to understand me too?

masama pakiramdamdam

sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko, hindi ko na kayang magprogram sa araw na ito kung kelan naman meron akong presentation this wednesday sa olongapo.

mapait ang panlasa ko.

masakit buong katawan ko.

nanghihina akong maglakad.

nasusuka ako.

gusto ko sana magpasundo,pero hindi ko naman alam kung kanino?